The Chronic Curmudgeon


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When you have lupus (spoiler alert: I do) you need to sit your ass down from time to time and just rest for a bit. I’m really, really bad at making myself do this. Sometimes, I have to trick myself into it by occupying my inner preschooler with crayons.

That’s right, I color. Judge me. I effing love coloring pages. 

What I do not effing love are coloring pages full of trite pseudo-meaningful gibberish. If I wanted to color a damn motivational poster, I’d … well, I just wouldn’t. The whole point of sitting down to color is for me to relax, but how can I relax when the page is trying SO HARD to slather my cantankerous spirit in sticky buckets of inspirational syrup?


So! I trawled the interwebs for free, downloadable coloring pages* that I could alter to be more soothing to my contrary soul. And now I share them with you.

Click the pics below for printable PDFs. Enjoy!

Snarky Coloring Pages


Do Not Disturb (the nap) Signs 





*f’real, I have no idea who originally drew these. I just sorta downloaded them from all over. If you recognize the artist responsible, let me know and I’ll be glad to credit them.